Focus on Self vs. Activism
I want this image to die so we can fully step into our femininity. There's nothing wrong with being strong, but we are not allowed to be tired. Even bodybuilders have to take a break from their training programs and let their muscles recover. Black women are not allowed that same luxury. What did Atlas do after the world was no longer on his shoulders? What can we do, as black women, to give ourselves a breather from the worries that plague us day-in and day-out?
That topic is for another day and another post. In my mind, the strong black woman has now manifested two other phases of black womanhood: those who tirelessly and selflessly work to uplift the black community and those who blissfully ignore the struggle.
I remember pondering this question in college at FAMU. There were the race-conscious natural sistahs who immersed themselves in politics, activism and positive upliftment of the black community. When I think of the strong black woman, this is generally the image that comes to mind. The flip side of that coin are the 'glamour girls', the model-type chicks who pranced around those highest of seven hills in 3+ inch heels, fresh wraps and the latest fashion statements. As a young woman, I struggled to define where I fit into that continuum. I think I'm somewhere in the middle: I love shoes (but won't break the bank for them); I've been natural before and understand the politics of how black women wear their hair in the workplace, community, church etc. But it was when I stepped from behind an image, and stopped trying to fit into a mold, that I found you could be both at the same time.
Here are two examples:
Ms. Activist - Blaqueindigo
Her About Me: I am about revolution, cultivation, grow and change in our community locally and globally. "i dont want no peace. I need equal right and justice."-Peter Tosh
Ms. Glamour Girl - Lovher989
Her About Me: wasn't filled out, and she's only done a few videos. But her video is a great example of the mindset I'm discussing.
These two women are not allowed to be the same person. Blaqueindigo would be discounted as an activist, if she made videos discussing clothes, fashion and makeup; presumably, its ok for her to do loc vids because locing is seen as a form of freedom from the oppression of chemicals. But why couldn't she be an activist and wear her hear how she chose? If she is working to uplift black women and the black family, why can't she do both things at the same time?
And that is the root of the problem I have with the Strong Black Woman image - the strong black woman is not allowed to look inward and indulge in her own interests, because everything is about taking care of others. For alot of us, we practice our makeup, read celebrity news and scour the internet for great shoe bargains as our respite from having to carry so much. But as soon as you go from every day black woman to Activist, you aren't supposed to care about those trivial things anymore. Why? Who made that rule? Methinks it was a man...
Anyway, these two images frequently enter my mind. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the ways that women can do both, or even if you think I've missed the mark on what these images mean.
"She's pretty for a dark-skinned girl" by Tameka Raymond
It is a fact that many African-Americans are often mixed with an array of other ethnicities (as am I), which allows for the spectrum of our features to be as distinctive and special as we are diverse. Why is it felt that the more diluted our traditionally African features become the more aesthetically acceptable we are considered? It was said in the 1960s and the sentiment seems to be forgotten, "Black is Beautiful." Wow, nearly 50 years later and is that now only meant for a specific shade? Nonetheless, I believe the beauty of our people and splendor of every individual is reflected in our varying features and hues.
Often dark-skinned women are considered mean, domineering and standoffish and it was these very labels that followed Michelle Obama during the campaign for her husband's presidency and which she has had to work tirelessly to combat. I was appalled when I heard a Black woman refer to Michelle Obama as unattractive. The conversation turned into why President Obama picked her as his mate. No one in the witch-hunt made reference to the possibility that Michelle Obama was smart, funny, caring, a good person, highly accomplished or brilliant. Nor did they mention that she previously was President Obama's supervisor. If she were fair skinned, petite with long straight or wavy hair, would the same opinions be linked to her? I seriously doubt it. It is believed that for the dark skinned, dreams are less obtainable.
(con't over at the Huffington Post)
I still don't really understand why Tameka Raymond receives the hate she does on the internet. We dig into black men who date light-bright-damnnearwhite women, or interracially, saying that they should choose women that look like the men's mothers. Well, Tameka looks like Usher's mama... In any event, this is a side of her you won't see on the gossip blogs, next to stories of her lipo surgeries. I find it an interesting, albeit familiar, read.
We *hear* Clair Huxtable
Michelle Obama's Last True Cultural Antecedent Is 'Cosby's' Clair Huxtable
By Robin Givhan
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, June 19, 2009
Link to article
And she has done all this on the world stage . . . while being black.
Time and again, observers grasp for adjectives to describe Obama's combination of professional accomplishment and soccer-mom maternalism. It's no wonder so many eye her with awe and disbelief. Or why a minority still view her with suspicion. There have been few broad cultural precedents for what she represents.
Historically, television has been more progressive than reality, preparing a society for the moment when what only existed in the shadows surges into the spotlight. From "Soap" to "Will & Grace," TV helped people envision gay couples living picket-fence lives. "Maude" and daytime soap operas raised the topic of abortion before it became a political wedge issue. Television made the case for the first female commander in chief. And popular culture has more than once suggested that the idea of an African American president wasn't so far-fetched. But it rarely introduced viewers to anyone like Michelle Obama.
The last similarly accomplished and wholesome black woman to enter the homes of TV audiences -- both black and white, in small towns and big cities -- was Clair Huxtable, the matriarch of "The Cosby Show." It is a cultural comparison more apt than the one made to Jackie Kennedy, which is rooted in little more than the two first ladies being mothers of young children and their affection for sleeveless dresses.
Television, in particular, speaks to viewers intimately, in the privacy of their homes, building long-term relationships and weaving complicated narratives. People discuss the lives of TV characters -- from soap opera stars to reality-show contestants -- with the kind of emotional empathy normally saved for family members. Syndication allows characters to live forever and connect to multiple generations, whether it is the blended family of "The Brady Bunch" or the codependent New Yorkers on "Seinfeld."
Even as viewing habits have become more fragmented through cable and DVRs, TV still serves as a lingua franca. It can gently and affably prod disparate groups toward greater tolerance and acceptance. TV builds kinship.
But most of the prominent portrayals of black women on television are men in corpulent drag ( Madea), strutting tarts ("The Real Housewives of Atlanta") or emotionless law enforcement officers (Lt. Anita Van Buren of "Law & Order"). In its most enlightened moments, popular culture presents black women as strident taskmaster with the heart of gold -- see Dr. Miranda Bailey of "Grey's Anatomy."
In a recent essay for the Nation, Columbia law professor Patricia Williams shared her frustrations about popular culture's failure to present more images of the sort that Obama reflects. Black women -- and women of color, in general -- still are dogged by the tropes that have haunted them for generations, she wrote. But instead of images such as Mammy and Prissy from "Gone With the Wind," contemporary women must deal with "the adventures of Flavor Flav and Strom Thurmond" as well as "depictions from Don Imus and the minstrelsy of Tyler Perry."
"Where, for heaven's sake, is a picture of black femininity (in particular, that of darker-skinned, non-tragic femininity) that might signify beauty, chic, elegance, vulnerability, sophistication?"
Where are the images that celebrate the educated black woman? "The jurisprudence of the entire 20th century was about black people trying to get into school," Williams said in a telephone interview. "That's invisible." Niche media have tried to showcase the black professional class -- from the stories of uplift in Ebony magazine to "Harlem Heights," a reality show about 20-something buppies that debuted this spring on BET, a rarity on a black-oriented cable network often criticized by viewers for pandering to the worst stereotypes of African Americans. There have been shows that have spoken knowingly to a predominantly black audience, such as "Living Single" and "Girlfriends." "Soul Food" and "Lincoln Heights" address the small segmented audiences of cable.
Only Audra McDonald's character on ABC's "Private Practice" -- a divorced, stylish doctor with a young daughter, a vibrant social life and a healthy relationship with her ex-husband -- really reflects a generation of black women with advanced degrees, solid self-esteem and no anger issues.
But TV audiences have to go back to "The Cosby Show" to find a close facsimile to what Obama represents both professionally and personally, and that's going back more than 17 years. Clair Huxtable -- the stylish mother, wife and lawyer -- remains a lonely figure in popular culture.
As Seen on TV
"The Cosby Show," a sitcom about a black American family with five children, a lawyer-mom played by Phylicia Rashad and comedian Bill Cosby as the doctor-dad, ran from 1984 to 1992. Inspired by Cosby's monologues on child-rearing, the show was an anomaly when it premiered in the wake of TV series such as "Sanford and Son," "Good Times" and "The Jeffersons," which told the stories of down-and-out black Americans and upwardly mobile ones with equal parts slapstick and buffoonery.
"The Cosby Show" was doggedly upper-middle class in its sensibility. Every detail, from the choice of artwork in the Huxtable living room to the use of jazz in its opening credits to references to historically black colleges, spoke of the "Talented Tenth," a functional, culturally proud segment of the African American community that did not make the evening news.
In its first season, "The Cosby Show" finished third in the ratings. For the next four seasons, it was the top-rated series on television. Over the course of its run, it revived the situation-comedy format, resuscitated a flailing NBC, sparked conversations about race and made Cosby into America's dad.
Author Susan Fales-Hill, 46, began her career on the show as an apprentice and then a writer. Later, she became executive producer and head writer for the spinoff series "A Different World," about life on a fictional, historically black college campus through which viewers could see work-study students and trust-fund babies.
"There's something that happens when you validate the existence of someone by visually representing them," she says. "What people see, they believe."
And what they do not see on a regular basis, they assume to be rare or even nonexistent.
Fales-Hill could write from her own experience. She is the biracial daughter of actress Josephine Premice, a contemporary of Diahann Carroll and Lena Horne. She is a published author and comes from a background of private schools.
During her time on "Cosby," Fales-Hill remembers people telling her that families like the one on the show didn't exist, but her rejoinder was her personal story. "I had people tell me this is like a white family," Fales-Hill recalls. "But 'Cosby' brought the dirty secret of America -- the black bourgeoisie -- out of the closet."
When "Cosby" went off the air, the lesson Hollywood took was not that stories about functional black professionals can have broad appeal. It was that Bill Cosby has broad appeal, that stand-up comics could sustain entire sitcoms and that situation comedies can draw large audiences. "The Cosby Show" opened the door for "Grace Under Fire," "Home Improvement," "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," "Cybill" and "Roseanne." And Cosby went on to star in another self-named comedy, which ran from 1996 to 2000. (And once again, Rashad played his wife, although the role was a modest one.)
By the end of the millennium, white, angst-ridden yuppies and white, wacky singles were dominating the airwaves. "Survivor" debuted in 2000 to launch the reality-show juggernaut. And women like Fales-Hill largely vanished from popular culture.
"There's a generation with very little exposure to the black professional class, and they stand in amazement," Fales-Hill says. "People say, 'You're so articulate.' And it's because I can string a sentence together!"
In a culture in which every white woman is presumed to be Everywoman until proven out of the mainstream, Obama has brought the normalcy of black women into the broader social consciousness. All it took were her two Ivy League degrees, a six-figure boardroom salary, a Norman Rockwell family, soccer-mom bona fides and an ability to dress herself without the aid of an entourage.
In many ways, the first lady has made people see -- really see -- black women for the first time. For example, when a black model appeared on the May cover of Vogue, news articles credited the "Obama effect," ignoring the concerted lobbying by fashion industry activists that began long before Barack Obama was even a presidential contender.
The role of style in defining the first lady might easily be dismissed as a distraction from more substantive issues. But Williams says the fan magazine breathlessness is significant because "it implies a kind of parity we really needed."
Enthusiasm over glossy-magazine beauty as defined by a darker-skinned black woman has to be seen against the backdrop of history, when black women's appearance was used as a tool of oppression. High culture rhapsodized in love sonnets about ivory complexions, flaxen hair and ruby lips. And today, black women still mostly surface as sidebars in beauty stories.
"Somewhere in the core of it is the question of whether black really is beautiful," Williams says. "That's why I think it's not about superficiality. It's a precarious moment. Only a minute ago, she was Angela Davis."
Fighting Stereotypes
In the NAACP's most recent report on diversity on television, the civil rights organization noted in December that "it is hard to draw any positive conclusions." And in particular, it pointed to "The Hills" and "Gossip Girls," which are aimed at a youth market. Viewers in their teens and 20s live in a more diverse society than their parents did. But little had changed since what the NAACP called the "whiteout" years of shows such as "Friends" and "Seinfeld" -- and more recently "Sex and the City" and "Lipstick Jungle" -- which were situated in the melting pot of New York City but seemed to exist in a parallel, nearly all-white universe.
Hollywood producer Mara Brock Akil was a regular "Sex and the City" viewer. "They were able to show women as layered and flawed -- and spending obscene amounts of money on accessories -- and still empowered and smart women," Akil says. "I related to it, but I longed to see myself physically validated, which they rarely did."
Akil, 39, grew up middle class in the Baldwin Hills neighborhood of Los Angeles and in Kansas City, Mo. But unlike television viewers who find themselves disappointed by network offerings and can only blog about it, Akil had the ability to alter the landscape.
So she created "Girlfriends." It debuted in 2000 on UPN, a new network that was aggressively courting a black audience. Among black women, it was appointment television. The ongoing saga of Joan (Tracee Ellis Ross) and her trio of friends gave professional, stylish black women a voice on television.
"I almost felt like a documentarian," Akil says. "I wanted people to know what's on our mind."
The show talked about romance and work, and it poked fun at the assumptions about black culture vs. white. Joan, for example, was a huge fan of Celine Dion -- because Akil is -- as well as more soulful singers such as India.Arie.
"I also wanted to combat a stereotype on TV that black women are either the sister-girl or the asexual judge with no life. I can be fearless at work, but I can also be stupid over a guy. I can be all those things at once. I wanted to show how fashionable we are. The fashion and the femininity, I really wanted to talk about that," Akil says. "My agenda was to speak to the widest audience possible, but I knew the core would be the African American audience."
"Girlfriends" ran for eight seasons -- eventually moving to CW. In that time, it was a favorite at the BET Honors and the NAACP Image Awards, winning at least five times. It was nominated for only one prime-time Emmy -- in 2003, for cinematography. It lost to "Will & Grace."
The show didn't have the broad cultural impact of "The Cosby Show," which, during its eight-year run, won virtually every award possible except a Nobel prize. No other show about the professional black class has made the inroads that "Cosby" did. None of pop culture's most enduring archetypes of funny, smart, professional, pretty women -- from Mary Richards to Murphy Brown to Carrie Bradshaw -- have been black.
And Clair Huxtable, despite Rashad's successes on Broadway, is now most often seen by middle America as the latest Jenny Craig spokeswoman touting her weight loss.
Can We Go Back To This?
I realize that Cherrelle released this song back in 1988 (my, how fast 20 years flies!) but we have much to learn from her. Aside from the plants (plants? really y'all?) this video shows how to be sexy in the right way. Cherrelle is wearing stylish clothing without being revealing (although this dress is a tad bit short and clingy...), without talking about her ASSets, without degrading herself - without playing into the sex-sells mentality that is so rampant in today's music industry.
I'm tired of the garbage all around me. Music doesn't have to be raunchy, meaningless or full of drivel.
Seeking Cheap Attention
So here is that something. *cracks knuckles*
I tried to ignore the media frenzy that focused on Rihanna and Cassie's nude pics. That was a big ignore fail. Part of the speculation is the source of the pics: were they leaked by the women themselves to gain attention? If not, then who circulated the pics? I found it interesting that most of the comments I read contained a huge assumption that Cassie leaked the pics herself. Its not a hard stretch to make. Both women are nominally talented. I mean, for serious, Cassie has no entertainment value for her voice and dance skills alone. And neither does Ri Ri, as much as I like her. They are no up-and-coming Tina Turners.
Where Rihanna found success was in being different. Yeah we liked her and thought she was cute when she was just an island girl who was unfaithful. But once she cut and dyed her hair, went all punk and became a fashionista, that edge is what kept us as fans. I was never really a Cassie fan, to be quite honest. I thought "Me and You" sounded like a song made with a Casio keyboard. Like someone pressed one of those buttons next to the Rumba beat, and voila. And when she started modeling for Sean John (or whoever, I dunno) I really lost all attention on her. To me, she wasn't talented enough or a big enough star to branch out in other areas. Her personal brand just didn't do it for me.
In general, I think personal branding as an artist is tough. Not only do you have to make music that grabs the listener's attention (as we can see lately, talent, relevance and sense is not required), you have to sell yourself, your image and your presence as a commodity itself. A prime example of that fact is Beyonce. We aren't
In the case of Rihanna and Cassie, their personal brands aren't that interesting. Granted, Rihanna is more musically entertaining that Cassie, but right now she doesn't have much going on. Outside of getting beat up and then dumped by Chris Brown, if she's not at an event then we don't care about what she's doing. Her album isn't new so there isn't that to focus on. And as an entertainer, our focus is where her paycheck lies, either now or later.
And herein lies the dilemma for these two young ladies, and by extension, women everywhere: when you have to sell your person as commodity, your value lies in the attention you garner. When you don't have much to sell as person-commodity, you take your attention cheaply. To further extend this point, here's a familiar analogy: women who give it up on the first date. Because, clearly, if there were interesting facets to their personality and value in that particular woman as person-commodity, she wouldn't have to resort to easy sex. Conversely, women who are valuable to men define their commodities in other ways: rarity, cooking skills, conversation ability and quick wit. As grandma would also say, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? So the value doesn't lie in whole milk, but in Silk Soy Milk. So much rarer, so much better for you and not as easy to obtain.
The common denominator between Rihanna, Cassie and the every-day black woman is the fact that we all define what our value, and thus our commodity, is. If you don't define your own worth, someone else will do it for you. And you might end up seeking cheap attention by showing off your nipple piercings or giving it up too quick. What these ladies, and the every-day undefined commodity women will realize is that attention spans are short, seeking cheap attention doesn't pay and in the end you still have to come to your own personal definition of self. Which, unfortunately, can still be influenced by others if you're not strong enough to set that definition for yourself.
The thing about cheap attention is that its a form of instant gratification. Instead of knowing who you are, weeding out those with bad intentions and taking value in genuine interest, we cling to cheap, easy attention because it superficially reassures us that we're desirable and valued. But its a negative cycle. Because our commodity is common, once that fan, that man or whoever tires of us or his attention wanders, we're back at square one, looking for reassurance, cheap attention and in the case of celebrities behaving badly, fans who'll support them financially. Only to rinse and repeat over and over again.
Lets encourage black women, ourselves included, to build our personal brands, set our own value and ignore fleeting, cheap attention.
Look Beyond Skin Color

When you look at this picture, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Do you admire Beyonce's hair? Are you thinking, "damn Idris is fiyonnneee!" I'm at a mental point now where my first reaction was to roll my eyes. Because what I saw was Hollywood playing on black women's emotional reaction to the premise of this film.
I'm tired, y'all.
I'm tired of seeing things that others don't see. It'd be a very long discussion or blog post for me to explain to another sista how I arrived at that split-second conclusion. It'd be another futile effort to reason with a sista not to support films that portray you in a negative light. It'd be a waste of energy to rationalize why Hollywood should not receive our recession-starved or economically-stimulated dollars for playing on our insecurities (losing the Good Black Man to the evil, crazy White Girl Hoe; and no matter how things look, stand by your man, girl! *snaps for the kid*).
So what's an overly-opinionated, good-intentioned, passionate black women and girls supporter supposed to do when she gets tired?
Its like, the majority of us sistas don't, won't, refuse to 'get it'. That the 'small things' are bigger than they seem, that our image is everything. That the more we allow the image of the 'strong', righteous, will-kick-a-white-girl's-ass-for-touching-my-man image to circulate, the less we are seen as warm, loveable, REAL women. The easier it is for others in majority society to dismiss us. The easier it is for Tyler Perry to continue with his drivel (ok TP doesn't really relate to this post, I just finished reading a series of posts over at What About Our Daughters that set me off...) Its just like Steve Harvey says, people treat you a certain way because you allow it. Why do we keep allowing, supporting these negative images of us?
(And I'm not happy that two of my fellow FAMU alumni are behind this film...)
There's an argument that if we don't like the images that are circulated about us, we should circulate our own images. For most of us that's extremely difficult. Hollywood isn't accepting that... for now... but we can MAKE them accept what we want by boycotting films with negative portrayals of black women. We can hit them where it hurts. After all, its not about black or white but about green. So lets stop paying to look bad.
First Lady Obama: Giving a message that needs hearing
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-trice-06-apr06,0,426678.column
Dawn Turner Trice
April 6, 2009
During her visit to London for the G-20 summit last week, Michelle Obama drew comparisons in the mainstream media to Jacqueline Kennedy and France's First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy: Their style. Their elegance. Their beauty.
But when Obama addressed the girls at the Elizabeth Garrett Anderson Language School in London—after they had just performed on stage for the first lady—Obama's demeanor, for me, was more reminiscent of Princess Diana: their personality. Their comfort with regard to giving hugs.
"For nothing in my life ever would have predicted that I would be standing here as the first African-American first lady," an emotional Obama reportedly told the assembly hall of nearly 200 giddy girls, 11 to 17 years old. "I was not raised with wealth or resources or any social standing to speak of. I was raised on the South Side of Chicago—that's the real part of Chicago."
Like Obama, the late princess of Wales exuded a warmth that was atypical of England's royalty and, truth be told, some of our own first ladies. (Perhaps it's the ease with which Obama engages in the touchy-feely that got her into a bit of trouble with some for touching the queen.)
After Obama told the girls to embrace education, she embraced as many of them as she could to the point that it made her Secret Service guys jittery.
What the girls, most of them from the inner city, saw in the first lady was a woman who was smart and put together, but not so prim and perfect that she seemed just-peeled from a glossy magazine. She was smudge-able and touchable and even three-dimensional.
Something else made Obama accessible at this school where nearly 90 percent of the girls are an ethnic minority. Obama probably looks more like them than most of Europe's female dignitaries who traipse across their school stage and television screens.
That means loads to young women wearing Muslim headscarves; or sporting olive or brown skin tones; or just facing the sometimes harsh realization that beauty remains all-too narrowly defined.
I grew up on the South Side of Chicago during the same time as Obama. The way many of us defined beauty in our homes often was at odds with the images we saw in the mainstream media. If you had a broader nose or thicker lips or coarser hair or browner skin, you stood outside the standard frame.
I admit that the definition for beauty has broadened a bit over the years. My 14-year-old daughter and her friends accept a much wider view. They also expect women to be more self-possessed, meaning they not only support Obama's right to bare her arms, but almost see it as her birthright.
And yet our forward steps are tempered by the past. During last year's presidential campaign some black women said that while they meant no disrespect to their light-skinned sisters, they were thrilled that Michelle Obama was brown and had facial features that they believed made her unmistakably black. They hoped that her high profile would help push the beauty boundaries even further.
In many ways, Obama indeed is redefining beauty—and not at all exclusively for women of color. Beauty is physically fit, but not a size 2. It's a mixture of warmth and intelligence and self-confidence; it's a combination of strength and elegance and attitude.
It's the old truism, "pretty is as pretty does." And that's a message we all can nurture and embrace, especially for our girls.
Black Women's History: Hattie McDaniel
McDaniel was also a professional singer-songwriter, comedienne, stage actress, radio performer, and television star. Hattie McDaniel was in fact the first black woman to sing on the radio in America. Over the course of her career, McDaniel appeared in over 300 films, although she only received screen credits for about 80. She gained the respect of the African American show business community with her generosity, elegance, and charm.
Off-camera
She joined Clarence Muse for an NBC radio broadcast to raise funds for Red Cross relief programs for Americans, many of them black, who had been displaced by the year’s devastating floods. Within the black community, she gained a reputation for generous giving, often without question feeding and lending money to friends and stranger alike.
The Problem with Miss Independent
Webbie - IndependentUh huh. Then there's the Ne-Yo/Jamie Foxx version:She'll Buy Her Own I Dont Think She 'll Never Look
In A Man Face Standin Waitin For Him To Take Care Of Her
She'll Rather Go To Work And Pay The Bills On Schedule
She Got Her Own House
Drive Her Own Whip
Range Rover All White Like Her Toe Tips
She Got A Pretty Smile
Smell Real Good
The Only Time She Need A Man For That Good Jugg
They Buy The Bar Too
They Superstars Too
They Be Like You Aint Got No Money Take You Broke Tail Home
Baby Phat They On
They Clothes Match They Phone
They Be Like Yea!! When They Song Come On
Leave The Club Kinda Early Cuz They Gotta Go To Work
I Mess Wit Supervisors Who Got Credit Like Big Turk
So Dusty Feet Please Dont Bother Me
I Got Independent Dimes On My Mind Who Spoil Me
I love her cause she got her own
She don't need mine, so she leave mine
alone
There ain't nothing that's more sexy
Than a girl that want but
don't need me (oh!)
Young independent, yea she work hard
But you can't
tell from the way that she walk
She don't slow down 'cause she ain't got
time
To be complaining, shawty gone shine
She don't expect
nothing from no guy
She plays aggressive, but she still shy
But
you never know her softer side
By lookin' in her eyes....
Knowin' she
can do for herself
Makes me wanna give her my wealth
Only kinda girl I
want
Independent queen workin' for her throne
I love her cause she got
her own...
She got her own
I love her cause she got her own
She got
her own
I love it when she say
It's cool I got
it, I got it, I got it
.....
When shorty come around they call
her "I got it"
She won't even let you put your hands in your
.....
And now she wit Loso,
'Case you didn't know so
You can save your money dawg shorty getting dough so
What she care wit his cars, you can call her miss boss
.....
Now all
my ladies that dont need a man for nothing, except some of that good
lovin let me here you sayoooo oooo oooo oooo
My interpretation of these lyrics, in both songs, are that: independent women are expected to handle their burdens with pride and in silence. Don't complain, girl, 'cos you're independent! Independent women are expected to handle everything on their own, be responsible, and not allow others to help them. But what disturbed me about these songs was how men absolved themselves of financial responsibility where independent women are concerned. Its as if they're saying "you're independent, you don't need my money so I'm not supporting you."
I guess that's ok, if taken in the context that men want to avoid gold diggers. But women want to avoid gold diggers also! Especially with the state of black America being what it is - where there are more educated women than men, and in our time of financial turmoil, a high rate of unemployment. I'm not enthused by the idea of women supporting men. And we all probably know a woman who supports the good-for-nothing in her life; she works 2 jobs, cooks, cleans, etc, while he takes advantage of the situation and does nothing. To me, these songs support that situation. These songs are saying, the only reason an independent woman now needs a man is for that "good jug", that "good lovin". Are we really saying that women who earn a good living don't need more than financial stability? That the money they possess makes up for the love, companionship and camaraderie they receive from men? That, ultimately, women who are not independent will receive financial support because they don't have their own? Because they're not as hardworking?
Do you remember several years back when independent women were frowned upon? When the assumption was, independent women didn't need or want men? I feel that the result of women latching onto that mantle is the resultant "only need a man for that good jug" attitude. I won't go so far as saying we've cursed ourselves, but that image is one that's hard to shake. And, I'll admit, a tempting one to have latched onto, if you were a woman who had to have her own, because there wasn't a man in your life to lean on. Now, however, the problem is that, those independent women who don't need money but are looking for commitment from men are kinda stuck. How do you maintain your independence yet be vulnerable at the same time? Not vulnerable in a weak sense, but in a very human, emotional sense. That's a difficult question and as one of those independent women, I don't have an answer. What I do know is that songs like this don't help. You may think I've read too much into the lyrics, that I'm taking things too seriously. But isn't that how images are formed? By assumptions about people being accepted as true? The problem of Miss Independent is definitely real.
The Black Miss Americas
MISS AMERICA 1984 VANESSA L. WILLIAMS
VANESSA L. Williams' success in entertainment is so extensive, it's easy to forget that she initially became a household name by becoming the first Black person to win the Miss America pageant. Williams won the 1984 crown when she was a 20-year-old student at Syracuse University, but abruptly resigned after 10 months when controversial photographs of her were printed in a magazine.
Williams overcame the scandal and went on to become probably the best known of all former Miss Americas, Black or White. Her singing credits include three original albums (The Right Stuff, The Comfort Zone and The Sweetest Days) and nine Grammy nominations. She won an Academy Award and a Golden Globe for the single, "Colors of the Wind," off the Pocahontas soundtrack. The 38-year-old star has also received two NAACP Image Awards. As an actress, Williams enjoys critical acclaim for her starring roles in such movies as Soul Food, Eraser and the new version of Shaft. In addition, she has performed numerous theatre and tv roles, currently starring in Ugly Betty.
MISS AMERICA 1984 SUZETTE CHARLES
SUZETTE Charles, representing New Jersey, assumed the crown shortly after Vanessa L. Williams resigned in 1984. (Charles' father is Italian, so she is also the first woman of Italian descent to wear the crown.) She finished out the term and moved on to a successful singing career. Charles, who already had many credits in advertising and educational television, has gone on to a career as a singer, entertainer, and television personality. Charles performed with such artists as Stevie Wonder and Lou Rawls, and appeared in soap operas. Now out of the public eye, Charles is married to Dr. Leonard Bley and has a daughter, Hannah, and son, Ilan, according to the Miss America Organization. The family resides in the New York City area.
MISS AMERICA 1990 DEBBYE TURNER
DEBBYE Turner had one goal in mind when she entered the 1990 Miss America sweepstakes--to win the contest to get scholarship money for her veterinary studies. Representing the state of Missouri, Turner completed her goal and became the third Black Miss America in the pageant's history. It was an experience, Turner says, that she will never forget, as she traveled 20,000 miles per month throughout the country and met celebrities ranging from Oprah Winfrey to the president of the United States. Turner completed her Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree at the University of Missouri College of Veterinary Medicine. She first pursued veterinary medicine before deciding to go into television. Turner's first hosting job came at St. Louis' affiliate, KSDK, and a show called Show Me St. Louis in 1995. Six years later, Turner joined CBS News as a reporter and contributor for The Early Show, a job that she has held since. Debbye is also a fill-in anchor on the CBS Morning News when Michelle Gielan is absent.
MISS AMERICA 1991 MARJORIE VINCENT
MARJORIE Vincent, the daughter of Haitian immigrants, hit the ground running after she was named the 1991 Miss America. It was the first time in history a black winner had been crowned by a black former Miss America. Vincent, who represented Illinois, used the spotlight as Miss America to spread her message about domestic violence.
"For me, it was a thrill to take [the victims'] message to lawmakers in Washington and to state legislatures," Vincent says. "At one appearance, an older man came up to me and said he was really glad I made the point that men could be victims too, because he was one."
Vincent went back to law school at Duke University after her one-year reign. Just before finishing law school in 1994, she became a television news anchor in Meridian, Miss., and later worked at stations in Peoria, Ill., and Columbus, Ohio, for the next six-plus years. She later worked at WHOI-TV in Peoria, Illinois, and the Ohio News Network in Columbus, Ohio, for the next six-plus years. As of September 2007, Vincent is completing her law degree at Florida Coastal School of Law in Jacksonville, Florida.
MISS AMERICA 1994 KIMBERLY AIKEN COCKERHAM
WHEN Kimberly Aiken won the 1994 Miss America pageant while representing South Carolina, it set the stage for an eventful year of travel and excitement. However, it was not about to deter Aiken from her true goal.
Aiken says her experience as Miss America opened more avenues than she ever imagined, especially in her crusade for the homeless. "[When I won the pageant], I was an 18-year-old Black woman from South Carolina; I had never traveled around our own country," she says. "Because there is so much prestige with the title, doors open. People listen, and you're really able to get into the hearts and minds of pretty much any group you want to. I had an opportunity to speak on Capitol Hill about homeless issues, and people listened. I had the opportunity to speak to several corporations, to see what they could do to help."
After serving her year as Miss America and graduating from NYU, Aiken worked as an accountant at the prestigious accounting firm of Ernst & Young for a few years before embarking on her next big project--business ownership. She has owned a franchise of Molly Maid, a residential cleaning service, for a year. She is also an image consultant and motivational speaker.
MISS AMERICA 2003 ERIKA HAROLD
Erika Harold spent her year as Miss America 2003 promoting her platform “Preventing Youth Violence and Bullying: ‘Respect Yourself, Protect Yourself.’” Using her experiences as a victim of harassment during the ninth grade as a catalyst, Harold issued a national call to action, urging every segment of society to take a proactive approach in the eradication of these detrimental behaviors. In addition, Harold won acclaim by courageously encouraging young people to embrace the freedom and power to be obtained through abstinence from drugs, sex and alcohol. In 2007, she graduated Harvard University's Law School and as of June 2008 was employed as an associate attorney at Sidley Austin LLP in Chicago, Illinois. Harold is politically conservative, and was the Youth Director for the Republican primary campaign of Illinois gubernatorial candidate Patrick O'Malley. She later served as a delegate to the 2004 Republican National Convention.
MISS AMERICA 2004 ERICKA DUNLAP
After securing another piece of history earlier that year by becoming the first African American woman to be crowned Miss Florida, Ericka Dunlap followed in the steps of the previous winners she had admired since her childhood and was thrust into the national spotlight herself. Dunlap's platform was "United We Stand. Divided We Fall Behind: Celebrating Diversity and Inclusion". Dunlap is currently pursuing a country music career.
Tyler Perry's bad intentions
I'm sure none of my blog readers will be surprised to know that I abhor Tyler Perry. He's number 2 on my protest list, following closely behind Michael Baisden. I'll save the explanation of my protest list for another post.
Back in the day, I refused to watch The Nutty Professor movies. I did not find it funny that Eddie Murphy chose to dress up as women characters. Sure, comedians do it all the time, even white ones. I don't base my judgement of right or wrong on who else is doing it. If I think its dumb, its dumb to me, no matter what other race is doing it. Besides, 'white is right' is a saying from a bygone era and isn't a guiding principle of my life. Anyway, I didn't find it amusing that Eddie Murphy portrayed black women as overweight, sex-crazed and uncouth. I particularly found his portrayal of the grandmother's character offensive. I was raised in part by my grandmother and did not appreciate the scenes in the trailer where the grandmother took out her false teeth (leading one to draw a conclusion of what she'd do with her exposed gums) or took off her 'granny panties' in order to seduce the 'skinny' Eddie Murphy. My grandmother would never act like that. It just seemed very unrealistic and stereotypical, and as a young woman (I believe this was high school or college) I just refused to support it. My friends didn't understand, and felt I was taking things too seriously. After a while I learned to stop arguing with people who held entertainment in a higher regard than the dignity of black women.
Fast forward a couple of years. I don't consider myself a Martin Lawrence fan but found some of his sitcom episodes funny. For the life of me I couldn't understand why he chose to be the lead character in the Big Mama's House franchise. That movie was on my protest list. Then, a few years later, Dave Chapelle appeared on Oprah and explained how he refused a movie role where he was forced to wear a dress. After he walked off the set, that's when the stories of his insanity were circulated in the press. His explanation made alot of sense to me. To me, if you want to make fun of a woman, at least cast a woman in the role. Why is a black man wearing a dress funny?
So you can imagine my dismay at the wild popularity of Tyler Perry's stage plays. Speaking ill of the character of Madea is akin to 'talking bad about Ms. Jenkins' from In Living Color. Don't nobody talk bad about Madea! Some fans don't take too kindly to that! (I wonder how many black women are familiar with the mythological Madea?) Other women I know will support Perry simply because he's a black man. "We gotta support that brotha!" they say. That's not a good enough reason to me.
The saggy-breasted, gun toting, violent portrayal of black women is disgusting to me. Its irrationally hilarious to me that black women will come out in droves to support that garbage, but when you openly discuss on the internet problems that the black community face, then people don't want to 'put our business out there'. How is it that people can't see the difference? Money is a sign of emotional support (think about how you feel when a man asks you to go dutch on a date..). If we're throwing money at Perry's work then that's a sign to the entertainment powers that be that that's what black people want to see. Forget the biopics on historical black people, uplifting stories that warm the heart, hell even Denzel needs to fall by the wayside, bring on Madea! *sarcasm*
So not only has Perry gotten rich off making the country laugh at the expense of black women's image, he will openly tell you how black women chase him. I read an article where he related how black women were scaling the fence of his mansion, trying to get with him. Now if that were true (WTF?), that's one thing.. but why would he openly admit that? (And isn't he gay anyway?)
Take a look at Perry's body of work (just the movies). What are his characters saying about black women?
- Daddy's Little Girls (2007) - a high-powered, mean, single black woman corporate attorney takes a chance on her chauffeur, a convicted rapist with 3 bad-ass daughters
- Why Did I Get Married (2007) - an overweight black woman puts up with cheating and verbal abuse from her husband, until she decides to love herself (but still takes him back)
- Meet The Browns (2008) - a broke single mom from Chicago goes to Georgia to meet her father's family for the first time. Hilarity ensues from the country bumpkins
- The Family That Preys (2008) - a money-hungry black woman cheats on her blue collar 'good black man' with a rich white man, and even refused to let hubby ride her coat tails and helps the white man 'keep a brotha down'
- Madea Goes to Jail (2009) - After a high-speed freeway chase puts Madea in front of the judge, her reprieve is short-lived as anger management issues get the best of her and land her in jail. But Madea's eccentric family members the Browns rally behind her, lending their special "country" brand of support.
Um, ok...
Black people on the internet have been up in arms over the cartoon of the monkey. Why aren't people upset about how black women are portrayed in Perry's movies? Oh that's right, its about black women. Its only offensive if it involves a black man. My bad, I had forgotten the rule.
If you wonder how stereotypes are perpetrated, how white and other races form ideas about black people they've never met, look no further. We are telling America what to think about us by the garbage that we overwhelmingly support. Ultimately, though, we can't blame Tyler Perry for this garbage, we should blame ourselves for propping him up with our pocketbooks. Hallelujer!
Here's an interesting take on Perry's work, from someone who's actually seen his plays.
And another, from Courtland Milloy, a columnist at the Washington Post.