First Lady Obama: Giving a message that needs hearing

Michelle Obama teaches London girls that brains are beautiful

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/chi-trice-06-apr06,0,426678.column

Dawn Turner Trice
April 6, 2009

During her visit to London for the G-20 summit last week, Michelle Obama drew comparisons in the mainstream media to Jacqueline Kennedy and France's First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy: Their style. Their elegance. Their beauty.

But when Obama addressed the girls at the Elizabeth Garrett Anderson Language School in London—after they had just performed on stage for the first lady—Obama's demeanor, for me, was more reminiscent of Princess Diana: their personality. Their comfort with regard to giving hugs.

"For nothing in my life ever would have predicted that I would be standing here as the first African-American first lady," an emotional Obama reportedly told the assembly hall of nearly 200 giddy girls, 11 to 17 years old. "I was not raised with wealth or resources or any social standing to speak of. I was raised on the South Side of Chicago—that's the real part of Chicago."

Like Obama, the late princess of Wales exuded a warmth that was atypical of England's royalty and, truth be told, some of our own first ladies. (Perhaps it's the ease with which Obama engages in the touchy-feely that got her into a bit of trouble with some for touching the queen.)

After Obama told the girls to embrace education, she embraced as many of them as she could to the point that it made her Secret Service guys jittery.

What the girls, most of them from the inner city, saw in the first lady was a woman who was smart and put together, but not so prim and perfect that she seemed just-peeled from a glossy magazine. She was smudge-able and touchable and even three-dimensional.

Something else made Obama accessible at this school where nearly 90 percent of the girls are an ethnic minority. Obama probably looks more like them than most of Europe's female dignitaries who traipse across their school stage and television screens.

That means loads to young women wearing Muslim headscarves; or sporting olive or brown skin tones; or just facing the sometimes harsh realization that beauty remains all-too narrowly defined.

I grew up on the South Side of Chicago during the same time as Obama. The way many of us defined beauty in our homes often was at odds with the images we saw in the mainstream media. If you had a broader nose or thicker lips or coarser hair or browner skin, you stood outside the standard frame.

I admit that the definition for beauty has broadened a bit over the years. My 14-year-old daughter and her friends accept a much wider view. They also expect women to be more self-possessed, meaning they not only support Obama's right to bare her arms, but almost see it as her birthright.

And yet our forward steps are tempered by the past. During last year's presidential campaign some black women said that while they meant no disrespect to their light-skinned sisters, they were thrilled that Michelle Obama was brown and had facial features that they believed made her unmistakably black. They hoped that her high profile would help push the beauty boundaries even further.

In many ways, Obama indeed is redefining beauty—and not at all exclusively for women of color. Beauty is physically fit, but not a size 2. It's a mixture of warmth and intelligence and self-confidence; it's a combination of strength and elegance and attitude.

It's the old truism, "pretty is as pretty does." And that's a message we all can nurture and embrace, especially for our girls.

Where did these images come from?

We all know the power of the media to influence, enhance and promote certain faucets of popular society. The women of my generation have grown up with images - toy manufacturers, fast food conglomerates, big food distribution companies, and now electronics brands, to name a few - that have defined and shaped our tastes. More importantly, the images that fill those 30-second tv commercials not only sell products to us, they sell images of us to the American psyche.


A few years ago, I started noticing a trend in print ads targeted to black people. If the ad featured a black family, the father was dark-skinned and bald; the wife was much lighter, with long hair; and their daughter (never a son) was cute and had her mother's complexion and features. I was a bit surprised to see more and more of these images, mainly because I don't know that many families that fit that description. Suddenly that became the 'black family' middle class image in the media.

Even more puzzling to me was the emergence of the curly-haired black woman.

At first I chalked it up to recognizing the mixed heritage that alot of black people share. After all, how many of us have people of other races, ethnicities and histories on our family trees? But again, this image became more and more popular, and left me wondering why. Especially since, in real life, there aren't that many sistas walking around who look like this.

Don't get me wrong. Sistas are beautiful to me, whether dark-skinned, light, bright, jet black, whatever. Black women are even more beautiful to me when they embrace their own unique beauty and appreciate their features, hair texture, and curves as their birthrite to beauty. But why do advertising agencies use these pictures to represent their target market? There is nothing wrong with these images except for the fact that, over time, they become the standard to which the real-life buyers of the advertised laundry detergent and cars are measured against.

None of my light-skinned friends, including my mixed sistahs, look like this, or have natural hair like this texture. None of my brown-skinned or dark-skinned sistahs resemble these images. Who are they supposed to appeal to? Is this what we are supposed to want to look like? Is this image circulated to appeal to black men, who don't buy the products that these images advertise?

I applaud Dove for including real images of real women (not saying women who actually look like this are not real women... but if you've ever met one let me know!) in their ads.

When I see those Campaign for Real Beauty ads, I feel like they accurately represent me and my friends, regardless of race, and that they understand who I am and what I really want. Thanks, Dove! Their marketers hit on something that is slowly being circulated in the media: truth in advertising, not of the products but of the consumers of the products.

New Year, New Direction!

When I started this blog, the purpose was to discuss the self-esteem and standard of beauty of black women and girls. Granted, I don't have any daughters, and I don't regularly interact with teenage girls. But I have a deep concern for their welfare, particularly in the face of the rapidly changing and complex world in which they are growing up. Over time, these discussions have evolved into some personal talk and (I hope) helpful reflections on 21st-century black womanhood.

Now, I want to take Black Femininity further. My recent reflection on my efforts stemmed from the start of a new year and the proliferation of themes for the year (52 Weeks 2 Find Him comes to mind...) I am passionate about self-esteem, personal development and general advancement of black women, and I want this blog to be a resource for these issues. In 2009 I anticipate moving the blog to its own domain; better articles about the aforementioned topics; 2 interview series on topics important to black women; and a host of other improvements on the theme of Black Femininity. I hope you will join me for these changes, and I hope that together we impact the lives of black women and girls in a positive manner.

Teen Essays: What its like to be a girl

http://www.pioneerlocal.com/1066933,ev-teenessays-072408-s1.article

Mental Health Association hails essayists
July 24, 2008

As part of its ongoing efforts to educate area residents about mental health and social-emotional wellness, the Evanston-based Mental Health Association of the North Shore sponsors an essay contest for young adults.

Students in the ninth through 12th grades were invited this year to write about: "What It's Like, or Must Be Like, to Grow Up as a Female in the 21st Century."

The contest is supported by a grant from the Naomi Ruth Cohen Foundation.
First prize of $750 went to Sarah Wagener of Lake Forest High School.

Second prizes of $500 each went to two Evanston Township High School seniors Andrew Hopple and Tamar Westphal.

Third prizes of $250 each went to ETHS seniors Nathan Cohen and Brigitte Viard. Honorable mention awards of $50 each went to six ETHS students: sophomore Christina Andre and seniors Samantha Blyth, Sean Bostrom, Jarelle Bradley, Lisa Co and Phebe Ha.

Following are three essays (I've only included the 2nd essay here) of students who consented to have their work published:

Harder to hold on to dignity

By BRIGITTE VIARD

Over the past century the media has been able to shape the view of women, particularly the African-American woman.

The 20th century was a time of racial hardship in America, portraying black women in the media as the most inferior of all American citizens, falling last to white men and women, and black men. Now in the 21st century the media has taken the demeaning values that it has always portrayed in the black woman to new lengths.

Black women are portrayed as sex symbols, both easy and unintelligent in the media that we encounter today.

The 21st century has sparked a new level of disrespect for the African-American woman. From music videos to reality shows, women of color are constantly depicted in roles as the video girl, salaciously dancing, or are exploited by description or insight into their body types.

Being portrayed as the latest sex symbol is only the beginning of an appalling amount of stereotypes held true to the black woman because of the media. With this exploitation of the black woman as a sex symbol comes the stereotype of black women to be easy and consequently unintelligent.

The media is an underlying source to many of the prejudices and stereotypes that we hold true today. Growing up as a woman of color, this demoralizing attitude that many people hold black women accountable for has transcended to essentially affect the individual.

With how the media portrays black women, the single-mindedness of many American citizens, it puts every woman of color at a disadvantage in being portrayed by such means.

Growing up as a black female in this society has been quite an experience. Not that I would know any different, certain things people might say or do, I know were said and done simply because of how the media has so manipulated the black woman.

Whether it is a slight change in the tone of someone's voice or the "dumbed" down conversation that others attempt to have with you, the references to my body type, or the assumption that I am lazy and stupid, I constantly feel as though I need to disprove these small things with my boldness of character.

I attribute the stereotype of the black woman in the 21st century to the media. Society has already held and continues to hold many prejudices against African-Americans, and growing up as an African-American it holds true that I must prove myself twice as much as others. Along with that, I must prove myself as a respectable African-American woman.

Growing up in the 21st century is a challenging experience. It employs determination and perseverance to get anywhere, and to defeat all the prejudices and stereotype held against me. These tools help to separate those who do not fall subject to these stereotypes, from those who happen to.

Being a woman seems to be the hardest in the 21st century, having to withstand our own morals to even be considered a decent woman. Society and the media have certainly made it a difficult time for women, especially African-American women, to attain dignity and respect.

*****

I was really impressed with this essay. I don't remember having this level of awareness when I was a high school senior. The only things that concerned me were college admission, boys, after-school clubs and activities and hanging out with my friends. I know today's high schoolers have a myriad of concerns and pressures that we weren't faced with growing up. So its refreshing to see that there are young women out there who aren't accepting the stereotypical fodder as truth.

Not to toot my own horn here, but the awareness and analysis behind this essay is what Black Girl Tees is all about. If I never made a dime from this project, I would still walk away happy and excited that our girls and women implicitly know their worth, their beauty, and don't fall for popular culture's propaganda about us. We are so much more than video vixens and angry black women, as the media would have us to believe. But if we don't believe that for ourselves, then we are doomed to become the stereotype that we are labeled as.

Let's not sit idly by while that happens. Let's applaud Brigitte Viard and girls like her; and let's help other girls, and our beautiful sistahs, to know that their individual and collective worth is valued among rubies.

Come On Now...

July 10, 2008. You knew that some rappers were ignorant ... but this is just too much. MediaTakeOut.com just caught wind that during a recent interview on the radip show Lip Sevice, rapper Young Berg claimed that he's not into dark skinned black women - or dark butts as he calls them.Here's a transcript of his words:

I'm kinda racist ... I don't like dark butts .... You know how some women
prefer light skin men or dark skin men. It's rare that I do dark butts - that's
what I call dark skinned women ... I [don't date women] darker than me.

I love the pool test. If you can jump in the pool exactly like you are and
you don't come out looking better than you looked before going in the pool -
then that's not a good look.

Any woman that uses brown gel to set down her baby hair is not poppin'

So lemme get this straight, Young Berg: you don't date women who aren't light-skinned with 'good hair'. That's fine if you are a self-admitted racist and have that 'preference'... I prefer not to buy music from artists who are racist and/or demean black women. So this guy will never get any "business", sexually or financially, from me, even if I did pass the 'pool test'. Because even though Young Berg dates light-skinned women, he objectifies them just as he does dark-skinned sistas. It doesn't matter what your intellect, morals or values are, off jump your hair looks messed up when it gets wet so you get the axe.

Why are we still dealing with ridiculousness like this in 2008? Normally I would just ignore statements like this, but I'm tired of us constantly being compared to each other based on skin tone and the properties of our hair.. I'm tired of us being compared to others based on what the media values at any given time. We are all unique, beautiful creatures whose capabilities, charm and fortitude make us some of the most beautiful women in the world. And we should know that with every ounce of our beings. Instead of supporting men that only have our ancestral background in common, and could care less about black women, let's let our collective voices be heard in the manner that matters to them most - in our withdrawal of financial support. Let's show the Young Bergs of the world that colorism and objectification of women aren't "poppin".

Welcome to my blog!

I know how hard it is to be a black female in today's society. If you're a woman, you face racism and sexism in order to get ahead in your career; dismal statistics abound regarding your love life and likelihood to marry; images surrounding you suggest that your beauty is not revered; add to that the stress of being an entrepreneur, wife, mother, sister or daughter. Some of you throw social organizations, church and volunteering into the mix. No wonder that a sistah is sometimes tired!

The situation for our girls is just as bleak. They're growing up in an era where music videos and big budget films help them to assign their self-worth. They must aim high in school, in sports, and in life in ways that the information age has made decidedly different than our upbringings. On top of that, they may see the struggles of their mother and big sisters and come to feel that this is also their legacy.

I am like you. I know what it is to carry around these burdens daily. I also feel the sting of sometimes feeling 'not thin enough', not privileged enough or just plain not enough. One thing that we do have, however, is each other.

This is a place for us. Sure, there are other blogs that address the black female experience in America. But what's one more voice on our side? There can never be too many avenues of support for our dreams, our efforts and our future. That's what this blog is all about. Together, let's step outside of the constraints that mainstream society has placed on us, and highlight our own beauty, accomplishments, intellect and vision. After all, if we don't do it, it will never get done.