Why Chris Brown Won't Matter

I usually stay away from discussing most pop culture news at this blog. For one, I purposely don't watch the news, and rarely know what's going on unless its water cooler talk at work or a friend brings it to my attention (like the email going around about the monkey that was shot...). The Chris Brown/Rihanna story after the Grammys is one of those stories that's even hard for me to ignore. I happened to be on Twitter when the story broke and thus couldn't avoid it.

The only reason I comment on it here is because it relates to a black woman's public image and supposed level of self-esteem. Some of the first reports I'd come across suggested that Rihanna was clingy, needy, and gossip even held that she'd given Chris an STD. Well, my response was, what 20 yr. old young woman isn't clingy? How much do we know about relationships at that age? Even more realistically, I thought about what kind of daily pressure a woman has to face when her boyfriend is a teenage sex symbol, regardless of the fact that she is one too. None of those reasons are justification for violence against her person. Even if reason for his anger was an STD - he still has it, no matter what kind of abuse she suffered. His attack would still be wrong. I was surprised and disappointed to find that many on the internet did not have the same opinion

When I got to work this morning, my coworker was looking at a pic on TMZ of what appeared to be Rihanna in either the hospital or police station shortly after the incident. I wasn't shocked at what I saw; reports had detailed the contusions on her forehead, her split lip, other bruises on her face. What did shock me, though, was my coworker's reaction. "I just didn't believe it," she said. "We don't know the whole story. There has to be something there." (after my coworker read this post, she explained that I took her comment out of context - she meant that, there were so many accusations flying around, from an unknown jump-off to an STD, that everyone was jumping to judge the situation without knowing what the full story is). I probably overreacted, but I said "why didn't you believe it? Why does there have to be something more? She didn't provoke anything! He wanted to beat her down so he beat her down!" At that moment I was standing up, looking over into her cubicle. I realized that a few people were looking at me, probably alerted by the tone and volume of my voice. So I sat down before I embarrased myself or my coworker. We quietly talked about women we knew in college who'd been in abusive relationships. The impression I got was that she felt men abused women due to an underlying relationship issue, whereas I felt it was a control issue within the man.

Then, I came across this story on ABC News. The article is basically about black parents' reactions to the incident, as it relates to how celebrities influence their children. Of course, one of the black parents interviewed wanted to stay neutral, and was reluctant to side with the battered woman. I applaud her son for feeling that he could pass judgment:

Kuae Kelch Mattox was surprised that her 9-year-old son Cole's third-grade
classmates were all aware of Brown's arrest. "They are obviously plugged into
the news of what happens with these celebrities," the Montclair, N.J.,
stay-at-home mom said. Her message to them: "Let's withhold judgment until we
hear the whole story. He's innocent until proven guilty." Her son, Cole, has
already changed his opinion, though. "I never heard anything bad about him," he
said. "After hearing about this story, Chris Brown isn't any better than Lil
Wayne. Now they are both practically bad guys. If he's actually proven guilty,
he should actually go to jail and no one should ever listen to his music."

And he's 9 yrs old! I don't understand why he could see the issue so clearly, while his mother could not.

I definitely agree with what one of the other mothers had to say:

Antona Smith, a St. Louis stay-at-home mother, believes some of the focus should
be on Rihanna as well. "She has to heal. She definitely needs to go to counseling," she said. "I hope the music industry, especially hip-hop, will look at some of the messages they send out about men and women. They are not the only young couple dealing with domestic violence and control. There's a great opportunity here to talk about this."

But I can't help but feel that Kuae Kelch Mattox's reaction is the more typical one. One thing that the R. Kelly phenomenon has taught me is that one's artistic value to the black community overshadows any criminal culpability. What's even more irrational, and infinitely irritating, is how people will point out other celebrities who've done bad things, as their reason for still supporting someone. I was listening to the radio one day last week, and the radio personality asked "should we stop playing Chris Brown's music?" One female caller said "well, no one stopped playing Mystical's music or R. Kelly's music, so there's no reason to stop playing Chris's music. Y'all go right ahead." Now, my grandma said that two wrongs don't make a right. So just because we didn't hold other celebrities to the fire, doesn't mean we continue to send the message that one's private life doesn't affect their artistic career. The way I see it is, we're patrons of a person's art. It used to be that patrons who supported artists could withdraw support for any slight, or for a sudden disinterest. But now, we don't want to keep a brotha down. *sarcasm* I say, if I don't like what you do, you're not getting my money, period. Money talks.

So in the grand scheme of things, Chris Brown's attack on Rihanna won't matter. As long as he keeps dancing, as long as girls think he's cute, and, more important, as long as parents and others who hold his financial support are willing to withhold judgment, thinking that Rihanna somehow contributed to his actions, or that he just didn't seem like the type, then men like him will continue to get away with crimes perpetrated against black women. I shouldn't be surprised though. It's not like there's been a public outcry in support of a black woman before, even in the black community. That's why I advocate for us to support ourselves and support each other - because certainly, black men and mainstream society won't. Rihanna might be a different story because white people really like her. Black women with crossover appeal aren't lumped together with the rest of us. So for us everyday, average sistas, let's be our sisters' keepers and ensure that we're valued for who we are above someone's crimes against us.